How I Finally Calmed My Agitated Cat (and What Her Behavior Taught Me)
In this blog post, I will explain what was happening with my cat, Polaris, and what might have changed her personality. I’ll also discuss how to create a happy environment for a developing kitten, the specific behaviors of an agitated cat, and what worked for me—including vet-recommended solutions—to calm her down.
Understanding the Breed Mix
First, let me explain Polaris's background. She is a female mix: her father was a Siamese and her mother was an Orange Tabby.
Siamese Personality Most breeders describe the personality of Siamese cats as highly social, extroverted, and outgoing. They show immense loyalty and, like dogs, form strong bonds with humans. As their owner, you might find them constantly following you around and demanding your attention. Siamese cats are notoriously vocal and noisy. Due to their loud, low-pitched voice, they're often fondly called "meezers." Many owners report how these cats keep "talking" with them as if they share a common language and, at times, even scold them if they think they're being ignored.
Orange Tabby Personality National Geographic has found that personality can be tied to a cat's fur color, and orange cats were found to be the most gregarious. They both purr and meow a lot and will always want to be near their favorite human. They are known for being very affectionate and not shy at all about expressing themselves. However, while ginger cats have a reputation for being friendly yet on the lazy side, the truth is that their early socialization with people and other cats affects their personality more than anything else.
When the "Switch" Flipped
Polaris came to us as a kitten from a neighbor. When we got her, she was active, very playful, and showed extreme intelligence. She got along with all the other cats and played with all of them too. She was wonderful—until she reached four years of age.
It was like a switch was toggled on and she became very violent overnight. Polaris used to stay in our son’s room with Emily, Lily, and Athena. Eventually, we gave Lily and Polaris their own room at night to give everyone more space. Before the age of four, Lily and Polaris got along very well, but age four was when Polaris matured. When that switch happened, she stopped liking other cats; she even started fighting with Lily, the very roommate she lived with.
I took Polaris to the vet because physical illness can often cause sudden aggression. The vet ran blood tests and Polaris got a clean bill of health.
The Escalation
The vet told us we could use calming medications and pheromones. While we waited for them to arrive, Polaris attacked Emily, our oldest cat, while she was in my wife's arms. My wife took a bad scratch on her ankle that had to be sewn up, and she was only saved because our Norwegian Forest Cat, Daisy—who is as large as Polaris and semi-feral—intervened.
A second time, when my wife opened the door just a crack to check if Polaris and Lily needed water in their room, Polaris slammed the door open and ran after Emily. My poor wife was running and yelling, and Daisy saved Emily again. Poor Emily was on her side while Polaris cowered in a corner because Daisy had put her in her place. Daisy stayed there protecting Emily until my wife could get her to safety.
Our New Safety Rules
After that incident, we established strict safety rules:
Total Separation: Polaris must never see Emily again for the rest of her life.
The Lock Protocol: Polaris and Lily’s door stays locked unless Emily is safely locked in her own room. Only then can the door be opened.
Medical Support: We found that a combination of five calming treats twice a day and pheromone sprays three times a day in their room worked. Polaris finally calmed down.
Signs of an "Activated" Cat
When Polaris was in her "protect me" mode, her behavior was very strange:
Refusing Comfort: She wouldn't sleep on her favorite soft bag bed.
High Ground: She liked being high up, but when upset, she climbed even higher, perching on a hard box with metal objects in it.
Hyper-Vigilance: She never relaxed. It was like she was "turned on" 24/7, ready to attack or survive.
Healing Through Understanding
We believe Polaris became this way because of her early life. The family we got her from left the kittens in a garage with a six-inch gap at the bottom. Living in the countryside near wooded areas, tomcats, raccoons, and weasels could easily get inside.
Imagine a kitten hiding behind boxes in fear, watching its mother fight daily to protect herself. Imagine a kitten who got little human interaction beyond being given food and water. By the time Polaris grew up, her brain was hard-wired to believe the world is a dangerous place where everyone is out to cause harm.
Polaris Today
It took over a year, but Polaris is now much calmer. We still never let her see Emily, and it doesn't matter why Emily triggers her; to keep our oldest cat safe and to allow Polaris her right to live, they must stay separated. At least now she is peaceful with her roommate, Lily, and she hasn’t caused my wife any more harm. She isn't as playful as she used to be and mostly prefers her safe room, but she is in her forever home where she is loved.
Resources
Siamese Cat Traits: WebMD - What to Know About a Siamese Cat
Orange Tabby Personalities: Feline Living - Orange Tabby Cats
Cat Anxiety Explained: Better Cat Behavior - Cat Behavior 101
Managing Aggression: PetMD - Cat Aggression, Fighting, and Biting
